He Had Him on a String.
The manager of a dizzy blonde troupe is lassoed by an indignant cowboy at Dodge City, Kansas. 

One of the variety theatres at Dodge City had for an attraction a company composed of gaudy-stockinged blondes. The performance was awful in its wretchedness, and in no time the boys got uneasy and the whiskey in them began to call for fun. Joe Hooke rose gravely, called the performance to a halt and asked for the manager. The impressive gentleman came into sight on the stage and asked what he wanted. Joe told him that a show, to be a success, should be plentifully sprinkled with local talent. The manager haughtily declined Joe’s offer “to speak a piece.” But his indignation was soon cut short by the whizzing of a lariat and stern reminder that any kicking would speedily be followed by strangulation. Joe mounted the stage and ordered the orchestra to play somethin’ right sneaky like, and began a long piece to the effect that:

In de days of old
We ‘uns all had gold
      In fac’ till quite recen’ly
When we ‘uns held a wake
On New York Jake,
      But cudnt bury’im decen’ly

After that the performance proceeded until one of the boys, taking it into his head that the big fiddle was a nuisance, threw a lasso over the neck of it, and started for the door. The instrument was a complete wreck in a minute. The boys then began to lasso the girls on the stage, who were engaged in an American march, and in less time than it takes to tell it there was not a light burning in the house.

Reprinted from National Police Gazette, December 24, 1887.

Half-dime Novels and Story Papers.

Satan stirred up certain of his willing tools on earth by the promise of a few paltry dollars to improve greatly in the death-dealing quality of the weekly death-traps, and forthwith came a new series of new snares of fascinating construction, small and tempting in price, and baited with high sounding names. These sure-ruin traps comprise a new variety of half-dime novels, five and ten cent story papers, and low-priced pamphlets for boys and girls.

This class includes the silly, insipid tale, the coarse, slangy story in the dialect of the barroom, the blood-and-thunder romance of border life, and the exaggerated details of crimes, real and imaginary. Some have highly colored sensational reports of real crimes, while others, and by far the larger number, deal with most improbable creations of fiction. The unreal far outstrips the real. Crimes are gilded, and lawlessness is painted to resemble valor, making a bid for bandits, brigands, murderers, thieves, and criminals in general. Who would go to the State prison, the gambling saloon, or the brothel to find a suitable companion for the child? Yet a more insidious foe is selected when these stories are allowed to become associates of the child’s mind and to shape and direct the thoughts.

From: Comstock, Anthony. Traps for the Young. New York: Funk & Wagnalls Company, 1883.